I’m not a fan of Valentine’s Day – I never have been. It’s not fun when you’re single and I think that you should be kind and show love to your partner, friends + family every day of the year, not just on February 14th. But since the official day of love is next week, I wanted to touch on something that not all bloggers (especially those of the fashion + beauty variety) talk about: self-love and self-care.
Cheesy as it may sound, I honestly don’t think you can be in a successful relationship (amorous or platonic) if you don’t love yourself. This is a mountainous challenge, one that I still haven’t mastered, although I’m getting better. I am a perfectionist and can be hard on myself (especially as a business owner) and I need to remember to be kind and take care of myself.
I learned the concept of self-care from my mom and I’m so glad I did. In our society, it’s easy to work yourself into the ground and never take a break. Unfortunately, it’s almost encouraged. But we all (myself included) need to remember to pause and do something for ourselves. Whether it’s a ten-minute meditation (I just started using Headspace), booking a spa appointment or actually getting out of town, this part of self-care isn’t something that should be overlooked.
So this Tuesday, I challenge you to do something nice for yourself. Happy Valentine’s Day to you!
Stylestalker white dress | Cluse watch | Balenciaga ceinture boots | Janessa Leone Lynn hat |
Dagne Dover Simone bag | Ray-Ban round sunglasses
photos by Andrew Cameron at The Parker Palm Springs
shot in collaboration with Cluse
Love this challenge and candid realness!! <3
-Alex
http://www.alexanderliang.com
Author
Thanks!
xx Jill
Yesss. I’ve had to learn to sometimes say no to “social obligations” when what I really need is a night at home by myself or a spin class to work up a good sweat. If we don’t take care of ourselves first, we’re of no use to anybody. <3
http://www.wonderlandsam.com
Author
Agreed! Thanks for the comment Samantha 🙂
xx Jill
I appreciate your post, but I disagree with a lot of what you said. You and people who hate on valentines day totally miss the point. Its not that people don’t show love every other day of the year, but sometimes its nice to have one day a year where everyone in the world can be reminded at once to just hug their loved ones a little tighter. Especially with all the chaos going on in the world, a day that specifically celebrates love is never a bad thing.
That being said, i also disagree with the saying that you can’t have a successful relationship if you don’t love yourself. I met my fiance during one of the hardest times of my life and I can 100% say that I did not love myself, and he absolutely saved my life by reminding me of my self-worth, and I would not be where I am today without him.
and by the way, by saying that people should love themselves in order to be in a successful relationship you’re making a lot of assumptions about your readers. Some people don’t grow up in environments where theyre taught that self love is even a thing. Some people go through relationships that make them feel completely worthless. Some go through traumatizing experiences that make them hate themselves entirely. Having the ability to self love is a privilege — and not one that everyone can learn just like that. That doesn’t mean that someone else wont see the beauty in them when they cant see it themselves and ultimately be able to form a successful relationship.
Author
Hi Abigail,
I appreciate your comment and your insight. I hope I wasn’t unclear about the fact that self-love is, in my opinion, an ongoing journey, not an accomplishment to be checked off a to-do list. I’m not saying that you need to fully love yourself before being in a relationship, I just think everyone benefits from being able to engage in the act of showing yourself some kindness. Self-love is a deliberate and intentional act and one that I still work on daily.
While I take your point when you say ‘Having the ability to self-love is a privilege’, I can’t say I see it like that. In my experience I don’t see self-love as a binary quality; a trait or privilege you either possess or don’t. I see it as a progression, a journey, an intentional part of taking care of yourself. Like any other journey, there are good days and bad, days where it comes easy and others where it’s pulling teeth. I am glad you responded to remind us of how hard it can be, we’re actually on the same page. It’s hard, but worth the effort, and I think a key ingredient in anyone’s happiness 🙂
xx Jill
Love. Great advice. Happy Valentine’s Day xo
Author
You too Lynette!
xx Jill
Well said Jill! Your mom is such an inspiration for so many reasons.
Author
Thanks Stephy! Agreed 🙂
xx Jill
Such a true sentiment! It can be so hard to admit that you need some me time; it actually feels sometimes like you’re admitting a weakness by doing so! I think it’s only in recent years that I’ve even begun to start being ok with myself and taking that self care. Definitely a journey!
Great post – there’s nothing more important than self love and self care. Also, love this black bag!
Agreed! Stunning photos, Jill! 🙂